Putting the "Assist" in Assistant: A Guide for New Assistants

Putting the "Assist" in Assistant: A Guide for New Assistants is a journal Zone Lore entry found in Whitevale.

Lore entry
[This informative Protostar manual published by Protostar Books is a useful how-to guide for prospective sychophants, toadies, and yes-beings.]

-Never let them see you sweat!

Sweating is not possible for a Protostar clone, as Protostar clones DO NOT POSSESS SWEAT GLANDS! Therefore, perspiration of any kind is unacceptable.

-Set realistic goals!

And then, make unrealistic promises about how you'll deliver on them ahead of time! This will keep your manager guessing, and managers love guessing.

-Anticipate your manager's expectations and act accordingly!

In addition to frequent rescheduling and the prompt delivery of stimulant-riddled Protostar beverages, this may also include self-termination. Don't wait to be asked - fire yourself today!

[...]

Location
This journal can be found at Prosperity Junction, inside a metal station at (3014, 830) sitting behind a Protostar Prime Assistant.